Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

The View's Sunny Hostin 'Almost Died' After Suffering Allergic Reaction On Air - TooFab

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Is it safe to take a hot shower after being exposed to extremely low temperatures?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why are there no fossils for the 'missing link' that connects our ancestors with other species? Is this a misconception or is there another explanation?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Top NHL free agent forwards: Marner, Ehlers, Boeser likely available - NHL.com

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How common is it for siblings to fight over their parents' inheritance money? What is the best way to handle this type of situation?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Dolphins place Terron Armstead on reserve-retired list - NBC Sports

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What is Palantir? The secretive tech company behind Trump's data collection efforts - Mashable

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Dietitians say: If you want to lose weight, eat dessert - Business Insider

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Credo Stock Rockets On 'Impressive' Beat-And-Raise Earnings Report - Investor's Business Daily

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How were cows used in ancient India?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand how hurricane paths work

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write